Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
