Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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