When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
