Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
