I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
