Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
