I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
