White coat. Heels.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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