sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
