it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
