just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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