U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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