Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
worst night to have a conscience
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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