R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
