Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
