i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
