oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
