If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
