But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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