Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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