Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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