I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
