Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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