I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
