as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
