ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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