Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
