Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
