Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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