Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
