He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
