i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
