Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
