by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
