wake up i wanna do it froggy style
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
