i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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