He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
