ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
