Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize