he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
