What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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