i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think my vagina is haunted
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
