The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
