i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
