What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
