Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
