you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
