8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
