You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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