umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
